dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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