All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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