I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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