I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
