sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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