I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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