try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
