Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
