"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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