PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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