Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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