She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
