I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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