I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
