we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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