If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
