so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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