yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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