I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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