I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
