Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
