At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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