thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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