Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
love makes seman taste better
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
