How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
