Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
