jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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