Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
