I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
