I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
