I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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