State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
