Whod you bang
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You can't motorboat a personality
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
