Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
