People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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