the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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