I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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