rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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