matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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