i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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