Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
