very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
