sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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