She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
