I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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