Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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