all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
