Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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