i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
