If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
