i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
