Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize