I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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