we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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