I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dignity is for republicans.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
