There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize