You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
