she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my liver is dry heaving
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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