i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
