I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize