My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
