so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
