I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
