You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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