i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
